marriage is a big step.

obviously.

however, it’s the pretty much the best step ever. like, ever. these nine months have by far been the most rewarding and most powerful months of my life yet. we’re told that marriage is about sacrifice and it totally is, but it’s always used in a connotation where sacrifice is a negative thing. i prefer to think of it another way: it’s about an awakening, a transformation. it’s about becoming selfless.

we both have come to this marriage ready to make humongous sacrifices. my husband has made the biggest of all: moving here from another country. he’s left behind friends, family and a job so that we could be together. i’ve made a smaller sacrifice by taking a short hiatus on my career so that we could focus on not only financially re-cooping, but also focus on HOW to begin a marriage. while at first i met this hiatus with frustration and impatience, i’ve soon begun to realize what an incredible opportunity this has been. i’ve learned so many things about myself; things that i’m really, really good at. i’ve learned to appreciate LIFE , appreciate marriage and LOVE in a way that i know i wouldn’t have if i hadn’t taken some time to regroup. as this hiatus slowly comes to an end, i’m thankful to my husband and this year for an incredible period of discovery. as career-driven/crazy catie has taken a back seat, i’ve learned the following:

i’m still as passionate as i ever was about performance. if not, more so.

i forgot i’m good at listening and being silent and thoughtful when i need to be.
i forgot how much i love mass.
i forgot how much i love to learn.
i forgot how important it is to discover what true friendship is.
i forgot how much i love my friends.
i forgot how much i LOVE having quiet, alone time.
i forgot how awesome scripture and adoration is.
i forgot how much i love to go to movies alone.
i forgot how big my family is.
i forgot how much i want to be in touch with my 5 million cousins.
i forgot how awesome it is to have free evenings after working a day job.
i forgot how much i love starbucks, even though i don’t really drink coffee.
i forgot how much i love my planner.
i forgot how much of a bookworm i am. just ask the fee department at the queens library.
i forgot how good i am at caretaking.
i forgot how awesome it is to have fallen in LOVE with yoga.
i forgot how much i love to learn to cook.
i forgot how rewarding true, pure and whole love is.
i forgot how good i am at cleaning.
i forgot how much i love being a sister and a daughter.
i forgot i had the capability to become a runner.
i forgot how good i am at admin work.
i forgot i love to LIVE in different places, to really experience a city.

i’ve learned how much i love being a wife and that despite what i say, i’m good at it in many ways. i never thought i would be married right now, but i forgot how good i am at trusting my instincts and making phenomenal choices. thank goodness i remembered, because this little break, this period of transformation, has brought me more fulfillment than a career could ever give me.

love,
catiegirl.